Welcome to another post in my Fabulous {Organized} Friend Series! I’ve created a new page that highlights each of my beautiful (or handsome) friends. If you want to be inspired feel free to hop over HERE to see them all!
This month, allow me to introduce you to Cristina….
This sweet lady is someone who exudes positivity at all times. (I believe my friend Jill said this exact thing, and I’m stealing it.) It’s just so true. Her warm smile, enthusiasm, and love, just make you want to spend as much time as possible with her.
We recently shared many laughs on our weekend getaway trip to the Azores. And let me just say, don’t casually ask Cristina if she wants to run a marathon together, because before you know it she’ll have signed up and is waiting for you to join her! (In all fairness, I did ask her and I was so appreciative of her motivation and dedication – I probably wouldn’t have stuck with the training had it not been for her!)
OK, I could go on and on, but I’ll hand over the mic because I want you to get to know one of my favorite Portugal friends.
Give me a snapshot into you and your family. What does your “whole” life look like? Schedule etc…feel free to over share!
We are a family of four who have accidentally fallen into what seems to be a bit of a gypsy lifestyle. I was born in Portugal and moved to the United States with my family when I was 3. I grew up in the State of Connecticut having no intention to ever leave. I am one of 6 children and I LOVE my siblings. Not to mention I have very close ties to my friends and my community there.
After university, while working as a teacher in the public school system that I had attended as a child, I met my husband. He is a New Zealander who had moved to the States to work for IBM. We met and fell in love. We also made a deal. That deal was that I would (after the birth of our first child) try living in New Zealand if he should ever want to move.
After having two children, our daughter and our son, a job opportunity arose in Australia. I told him he had one move allotted to him and if he used it, there would be no move to New Zealand afterwards. He was sure Australia was the place, so we made the move. After an incredibly tough adjustment period for myself and my kids we all came to love our lives in Sydney. Two years after moving to Australia, my husband felt the pull of family and asked if we could try living in New Zealand where they all live. Although I love his family, I hated the idea of uprooting our little family again. After much thought, I realized that he would always resent me if I did not give it a go. So we did.
After a year in New Zealand, I had to accept that the school there was the best I could offer my children and I surprised even myself by being the one who suggested we make Auckland our home. As if the distance from my family and friends was not enough, I was also saddened that our children would never learn to speak Portuguese. It was then my husband who surprised me and suggested we move to Portugal for a year to immerse the children in Portuguese. That was three years ago.
At this point we are thinking we might stay. It is not definite, but Portugal affords us a beautiful spot to live with lovely friends and our adventure here still feels to have a few more chapters. Travel within Europe is easy and we have only begun to take advantage of all that Europe has to offer. With our children in a bilingual program we both believe that we have given them a tremendous gift of another language. Next year my daughter will start learning her 4th language!
What is your number one organizing tip you would share with other busy moms/dads?
There is one thing I rely the most on and that is my family calendar. We have insanely busy lives as I am sure you all do. Last year, I actually forgot to take my daughter to a birthday party. Now when each of us gets an invitation or we have an unusual activity it is that person’s responsibility to make sure it goes on the calendar. We don’t add the weekly things here, those are posted elsewhere.
My kids both have a list of their weekly activities posted in their closet door as well as to the front door. This is nice for them to just remember what activity they have on each day and to make sure they have everything they need. My kids have insane schedules and since they want to do so many things I believe it’s their responsibility to make sure they have what they need.
At the school they attended in New Zealand the Headmaster once wrote, ‘Do not make your children’s problems, your problems.’ For example, If they forget their violin, then they need to find a solution. I am not always good at this but I am trying. I am by nature a person who likes to come to the rescue. Having their weekly schedule right at the door is a gentle way to foster more independence.
How do you find time to plan meals and to grocery shop?
Sunday nights are my meal planning night. First I ask my kids what they want. They add their suggestions to the meal wall (I explain it here) and I arrange them based on which meals can be prepared on which days. I make the shopping list based on their suggestions. Not everyone is happy every night, but they know they get a say some days. On the weekends we tend to go out once or twice. Restaurants here do not tend to be very expensive and since I do not prepare meat at home it gives my daughter and husband an opportunity to eat meat. I love cooking, but I do appreciate a break one or two nights a week.
How do your kids help around the home?
I know this is going to be a ghastly response, but they really don’t. I have a daughter who was swimming 5 mornings a week last year. I would never have asked her to make her bed at that hour. I was just impressed she was dedicated enough to drag herself out of bed and dress quietly enough to not wake her little brother in the next room. Then another thing we have to remember is that my children did not speak a work of Portuguese three years ago. This year they both sat national exams here in Portugal and scored above the national average. This took an incredible amount of work. Their evenings and many weekend hours were spent reading, writing and figuring out how to do math the Portuguese way. When that was done and their English reading was out of the way I could not ask much more of them.
In full disclosure I have to admit that I have a cleaning woman who comes once a week. She started when I was working on a project with the parent teacher organization and I never asked her to stop. For the price of an average lunch in NZ, or less than what one of us would spend on coffee there, I can have our apartment cleaned perfectly. I love it and it leaves me with just the tidying the rest of the week.
How do you create the time to exercise and take care of your own health?
Mornings. For me I have to carve out time first thing in the day. Sometimes it is right after drop off, other times I hop in the pool while my daughter trains. But when I was teaching full-time it was at 5am before the day started. That is the only way I can truly commit to working out.
I also have found that if I sign up for an event I will train for it. Most of the time at least.
What are some of your secrets to keeping a clean home?
My cleaning lady does come once a week, but I find that having less and making sure that everything has a place makes a difference in keeping a space tidy. Our apartment is a nice size, but it is one of the smallest ‘homes’ we have ever had. I end up having to make sure we purchase what we need and that we get rid of those things we are done using. It is much different from how I lived when we first were married in Connecticut. There we had a tremendous home and filled it. Moving has taught us to live with less and I must say I quite like it.
What are your tools for managing stress and finding time for just you or time for just you and your spouse?
My favorite thing for managing stress is a good run or yoga. Exercise simply makes me feel better. When I do not make that time I tend to get down. Talking to girlfriends also helps me clear the clutter on my mind. With all our moves I think I have become really good at finding great ladies to surround myself with. As for making time for my hubby, Morgan is actually a great reminder of that. Just the other day her husband posted a picture on instagram about their date night. It got me to remind my hubby about our date nights. Our first one is going to be a tennis date.
What advice would you most like to share with other moms in how they can best live their lives with intention?
We are not perfect, we can only try to do our best. But trying your best in itself is showing your children that they, your family and your friends are important. I have modelled my attempts to do good. But I have also failed in front of my children. I hope they understand that even though we are all flawed, what is important is that we strive to be the best WE can be. There is just too much pressure on parents to be perfect.
There is a quote in yoga by K. Pattabhi Jois that says ‘Practice, practice, all is coming.’ I love the idea that at any age we can learn something new. I also believe that at any age and time we can become a better person. I practice my yoga. But more importantly I practice every day to be a better mother, friend and wife.
Oh, I forgot to mention, she’s gorgeous too. 🙂 Cristina, thank you for sharing your pearls of wisdom. I really like how you have your kids mark their events on the calendar and that you post them on the door as well. Additionally, I love how you approach menu planning (I want to see your meal wall the next time I’m over scarfing down your hummus) and I have to applaud you for making your workouts a morning priority. You are such an example of planning AND executing!
Lastly, I am hanging on to your last words – “I also believe that at any age and time we can become a better person.” – so true. We need to be continually seeking to grow and change, for the better. Thank you so much for being one of my highlights in Portugal. I just think you are fabulous – both inside and out. And…may you continue to make me hummus whenever I need it. xoxo
