Welcome to another post in my Fabulous {Organized} Friend Series. In this series I am introducing you to some of my FABULOUS friends. I want to continue to show you that there are many different ways to organize your life. We all have individual lives to manage and we need to make sure that we take into account our personal lives, especially all of the different variables that make up our lives. Rather it be – the size of your family, the amount of work you are responsible for (inside and/or outside of your home), your values, goals, and of course, your natural skills and abilities. This series will give you some different approaches, some fresh techniques and a picture of how different ladies take care of it all!
This month, allow me to introduce you to Haley…
I am so blessed to have two amazing sisters. You met Harmony last month, my younger sister, and this month you get to meet Haley, my youngest sister. I can’t tell you how fortunate I feel to have these two ladies as my sisters, they are always there for me and are truly not just my sisters, but also my close friends.
Haley is the sweetest girl that I know. She’s the sort of auntie that has my kids over and lets them play with shaving cream all over her kitchen table. She is thoughtful and generous, and she rocks her mini-van. Before kids (BK) Haley worked in the PR world and put her creative juices to work there. Now her talents are poured into her home and her family. She gardens, creates amazing crafts, has an amazing sense for fashion, and makes a mean guacamole.
She currently has her hands (and her heart) full with three beauties. Haley is in the season of motherhood that is known for being busy, in the sense that toddlers have a lot of needs, I think you ALL know what I mean! For those of you who are young moms and home with your little ones, I think you will really relate well to how Haley manages things. She balances her life with a huge cup of grace and another huge cup of love. Her life is full and she is trying to remember to count all of the blessings despite all the messes!
Now I’ll turn it over to sweet Hales.
Give me a snapshot into you and your family. What does your “whole” life look like? Schedule etc…feel free to over share!
Our whole life. Well, I am coming up on 10 years of marriage, and have three kiddos – Cole, 6; Stella, almost 3; and Beckett 1. Our lives are extremely organized and relaxing, as you can imagine. 🙂 I am currently a full-time mom and I love to having this “job” right now, but if I’m keeping it real, life if just crazy.
My typical day starts around 6am and the race begins. Today I changed four diapers before I poured my coffee. My husband is very hands on with the kids and helps me immensely with the day-to-day duties. I bounce between school pick-up, volunteer commitments, trying to keep a clean house and food on the table, while maintaining some type of routine and consistency for my family.
The motherhood thing really is no joke and I often feel like I am failing miserably. But when I let go of the mom guilt and find a seed of patience, I am doing just fine.
What is your number one organizing tip you would share with other busy moms?
Hmmmm. I am not very organized! But I am working on it everyday. I think my number one piece of advice for busy moms would be that less is more. As moms we have so much to manage – schedules, meals, clothes, toys, household duties, social calendar, etc.
Within my home I am always working on purging the excess. With less there, there is less to manage.
With our schedules, I am trying to be mindful of not over scheduling ourselves and making time together a priority.
With managing the house, I am learning to give myself grace and just do what I can, and let the rest go. I’m learning to accept that in this season, things are going to be a bit chaotic, and that’s OK for now.
How do you find time to plan meals and to grocery shop?
I am not rigid in my meal planning but I always have a few meals planned for the week ahead of time and I have a lot of go-to simple recipes and use ingredients that we usually have on hand. I recently hired a babysitter for a few hours each week that has been life changing (I’m not kidding – hello sanity!) and I use some of that time to go grocery shopping. I can go through it so much faster without my kids and I’m a lot less likely to forget things on my list.
I also am a big fan of freezer meals and using my crock pot. There are an abundance of healthy freezer meal recipes and I try every couple of months to stock up my freezer. This is a huge time saver for busy nights and I can always add more fresh ingredients and fresh sides but I’ve always got good staples.
I think the crock pot can get a bad rap to the foodies, but it’s such a great resource for making savory soups and tender meats that you can easily build a meal around. I also always keep a few easy freezer pre-made options like pot stickers, garden burgers or Trader Joe’s TV dinners on hand for those nights when I don’t want to cook. We need options people!
How do your kids help around the home?
Our kids (minus the baby) have general responsibilities around the house like clearing their dishes, picking up their toys, putting dirty clothes in the hamper and feeding the dog. This summer I taught my oldest how to clean a bathroom and surprisingly he does a great job! What I’d like to work on as they get older is shifting the responsibility more to them. They are usually great at doing things if I ask, but I’d like them to learn to be self starters and contribute to the household tasks more as a part of their routine and less for me to manage. But for now, they are still pretty little.
How do you create the time to exercise and take care of your own health?
A couple of years ago we joined a gym with fabulous childcare and I make it a part of my routine to go several times a week. There are these amazing women that work in the childcare center at our gym who squeal with delight when I hand over my drooling baby for an hour. They get their baby fix and I get to do something good for myself. I am not disciplined enough to exercise on my own so I do best if I am meeting a friend to work out or taking a class. I switch up my workouts between weights, cardio and a few fun classes like Zumba and yoga.
Sometimes I just really don’t want to go to the gym, especially if I feel like I’m running on empty. But if I can just get myself there and get going, I am never once sorry I did. Even if I am the chubbiest, weakest or slowest person in class, I am there! And that is a win. And there are times I have checked my kids into childcare and spent some glorious time in the sauna. Don’t judge.
Other than the gym, we try to stay active with the kids by getting outside a lot. When the weather is tolerable we spend a lot of time in our cul-de-sac, on walks or at the park. It’s pretty hard to turn down your kid when they are asking you if you want to go outside and play tennis or throw the football around.
What are some of your secrets to keeping a clean home?
Ha! Did you say clean home? Well, my house doesn’t feel clean often. I do clean consistently but I find it challenging to stay on a cleaning schedule right now because no two days are alike. Between early releases from school, holidays, illness, activities and everything else, our schedule can feel very inconsistent.
Generally I try to clean bathrooms and floors on Mondays, and I do one load of laundry from start to finish each day. The rest happens when I can get to it. We are working right now on better toy and art/craft organization for the kids and this is helping with some of the clutter. I also struggle with managing all the paper, so I am working on putting together a command center to keep the counters less cluttered.
Once all the kiddos are in bed, I get all my machines set to work: I load the dishwasher up and set to run overnight, I load up our washer and set the timer to start in the morning, and I have a robot floor sweeper I set. I need all the help I can get!
What are your tools for managing stress and finding time for just you or time for just you and your hubby?
I have found that I really set the tone for my household. Meaning that if I don’t get time to get filled up and recharged, I am a ball of stress, and that’s not good for anyone. I prioritize weekends away a few times a year with my treasured girlfriends and my husband does the same with his friends. My husband and I also enjoy date nights a few times a month to connect, we love going to concerts together and meeting up with other couples. Personally, I attend a weekly bible study so I can be filled up and surrounded by other mamas who are in the same life stage.
While my kids are napping, and I have a couple of hours to myself, I use the first half of that time to be productive around the house, and the second half is just for me. I enjoy a cup of tea and eat lunch in the quiet, or watch something on my DVR. I used to feel guilty about that but I have decided that it’s my lunch hour just like all the other working people are taking each day.
I was feeling very overwhelmed this summer with my three little ones at home and my husband encouraged me to get some help, to hire some regular childcare. At first I didn’t want to because I felt like it would be a sign that I couldn’t handle things, and I also didn’t want to spend the money. But I ended up hiring a wonderful college-aged girl who adores my children and it has been a great thing for all of us. A few hours a week by myself gives me time to run errands and grocery shop and I get some time to myself. The first few weeks I had a mile long list and I ran around the entire time getting things checked off my list. Now I spend half the time doing things I need to do and I spend the rest of the time taking care of myself, in the form of sitting in a coffee shop with a book or getting a manicure. Babysitters are a gift from God!
What advice would you most like to share with other moms in how they can best live their lives with intention?
Living life with intention for me means remembering what my priorities really all, it’s so easy to deviate from that and compare to those around us. Comparison is the thief of joy, and we can be our own worst enemies. When I put God first, followed by my husband and my kids, the rest seems to fall into place more naturally. Not to say that things are perfect and organized and I am a patient mama and all of that – but that I have more peace and I’m pursuing what is really important to me.
I remember when I first had my second baby, I was completely overwhelmed in the transition. A day after I delivered her, my family got hit with a horrible stomach bug – so bad that both my son and my husband spent nights in the ER. I was trying to recover and rest, and quarantined with my little baby, who cried all.night.long. Fast forward and we all got better, but I was deep into sleep deprivation with a baby with colic who cried constantly and I was just drained to the core. My friends were surrounding me with love and support, and brought us meals. I was so embarrassed by the state of my kids (pajamas all day), the fact that I was a hot mess, and my house was a disaster area. But as I reflect on those moments when my sweet friends showed up on my door step to hold my baby and bring me a home cooked meal, they weren’t judging me or raising eyebrows that my living room was littered with dishes. They were here to be with me, to connect, and it’s ok that I was in a state of disarray.
I want my God to know I am trying to serve him daily. I want my husband to know I love him and I will keeping working on our marriage. I want my kids to know they are safe, secure and loved completely. If those things are in place, I don’t care if the dishes get done. 🙂
Wow.
How can I say anything after that last paragraph? (Which brings tears to my eyes.)
Living with intention isn’t about perfection, it is about remembering our priorities and designing our life choices around those priorities.
Daily deliberate choices to embrace the NOW mean so much more than having pristine environments. Love should be our first thought always.
On a side note, I need to order a robot floor sweeper and I have to echo that I am a big proponent of having a great gym to go to, especially where there is childcare provided. That is what I call a win-win!
We all need time to relax in the sauna workout. A couple of hours of “me time” can make a big difference when parenting, period. Not to mention that I also believe that babysitters are a gift from God!
Thank you Haley for being so authentic and for sharing the truths of how balancing motherhood and housekeeping can have its share of struggles. I love you very much and hold you in very high esteem. Your beauties are so blessed by your time, dedication, service, and love. Keep it up sister! xoxo
